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Kim Anansie
Kim is a bit of a femme fatale. Smart, scheming, and willing
to let others do the dirty work. She’s a bit calmer than she once was. Her love of seeing men helpless got her in a bit of
trouble. She now works as Aubrey’s right-hand woman at Nerdrotica. A practicing Wiccan, Kim’s known for whipping up the
occasional ceremony at a moment’s notice.
First Appearance: “Enter Kim”,
Feb. 25, 2002. |
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Lisa Baugh
Lisa is Monette’s partner and Fred’s former apprentice at
a helicopter plant. The daughter of a comedian, Lisa doesn’t have a lot of her father’s good humor. She usually spends her
time calming down or picking up her considerably more outgoing girlfriend.
First Appearance: “Lesbian at Last?”
pt 2, May. 27, 2002. |
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Canadian Trap Door Alligators
Canadian Trap Door Alligators reside primarily along
the northeaster border between Canada and the United States although sightings as far south as Maryland are not unheard of.
Unlike many cold blood reptiles they are quite active even in the dead of winter. It’s believed a breed of the trapdoor gator
has begun popping up in the southwestern United States, nesting in ventilation shafts. Some scientists say this is impossible,
sighting the trap door alligators’ natural hatred for Nascar as a deterrent.
First Appearance: “Free-Range
Midget” pt 6, Nov. 22, 2002. |
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Catgirls
Catgirls are a prime example of what happens when a severe
need for attention mingles with the worst part of anime fandom and “tween” culture. Telltale signs your child is now a
catgirl: cheap plush cat ears on head, possibly a tail pinned to their pants/skirt, communicates in broken Japanese and
squeals, and might have killed four classmates for saying her Twilight fanfic where Edward turns into a glittering
undead catboy needed some work.
First Appearance: “Beware…
BEWARE!”, Jan. 19, 2004. |
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Kyle Cheng
Kyle wasn’t a very good boyfriend to PeeJee, which makes
it all the more unfortunate he was her first boyfriend in years. He cheated, he lied, and then he was forcibly removed. Now
he fucks men which is great because people don’t rag on PeeJee enough about her attraction to gay men.
First Appearance: “PeeJee
Restarts” pt 2, Jun. 16, 2003. |
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Choo-Choo Bear (I)
Choo-Choo Bear is an occasionally shapeless pudding cat with soft
bones thanks to years of chemotherapy. He calls Davan his owner and protects him the best he can. Choo-Choo can be seen
dripping out of weird places when he’s not stealing panties.
First Appearance: “Jhim’s Kitty”
pt 1, Jan. 14, 2002. |
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Pamela Joycelyn Chorde
Pamela (or “Li’l PeeJee,” as her namesake calls her), is the large-handed baby adopted by Aubrey and Jason. Not a lot is
known about her, not even by her. She’s a damn baby. What more do you want?
First Appearance: “Revenge of Q&A”
pt 2, Mar. 17, 2009. |
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“Coppertop”
Coppertop was the nickname of Davan’s never-named boss
while working for an ambulance company. He claimed great pleasure from torturing others and may have had a romantic
relationship with both Satan and Kharisma. Since the ambulance company shut down the billing facility, he’s moved
into education.
First Appearance: “Dress Codes”,
Apr. 3, 2002. |
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Vanessa Cubbins
Vanessa is a sweet woman who’s probably more easily
scandalized than anyone else in S*P. In fact, she’s probably the cast’s last true innocent. She puts her degree in
philosophy and religion hard to work at the used book store that employs her. Currently she’s dating Davan and trying,
very hard, to get used to him.
First Appearance: “Being Watched”,
May 25, 2009. |
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Shazam Wil-Wheaton Dowden-Patel
Shazam is more than Mike and Tamara’s baby: he’s a future
victim of playground beatings and master of hyphenated names (the hyphens are the source of his power). So far, his face
hasn’t been shown “on camera.” There’s probably a good reason for that.
First Appearance: “Mike’s Kid” pt 2,
Sep. 23, 2006. |
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Fluffmodeous
It’s still unclear if Fluffmodeous is real or just
a figment of Kharisma’s imagination. Either way, if he’s there to help her deal with being in prison he’s doing a poor
job of it. But he’s devoted to his “new friend,” and that’s more than she can say for most people.
First (S*P) Appearance: “The
Commonwealth vs. Kharisma Valetti” pt 6, Jan. 13, 2007. |
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Nancy Harper
Nancy is an employee of Aubrey’s who bonded with
Davan. While he lived in Boston she became something of a shadow, if shadows reminded you how much older you are and
taunted you about poor choices. She’s moved up from phone sex operator to management and is pursuing a degree. And,
frankly, all this grown-up shit terrifies her.
First Appearance: “Class of
Ninety-Bore” pt 5, Oct. 10, 2004. |
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Kestrel
Kestrel (who never seems to remember to fill in her last
name on forms) met the cast of S*P a few times before moving to Boston, but it wasn’t until she found her stolen panties being
sold on eBay that she really got to know everyone. She now works at Nerdrotica, where she constantly butts heads with Nancy.
Her pre-S*P life is chronicled in the webcomic Queen of Wands, written by
Aeire.
First Appearance: “Kestrel’s Panties
Don’t Live Here Anymore” pt 1, May. 10, 2004. |
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Berenger Ledbetter
Berenger is Cab’s troubled son from one of his previous
marriages. Foul-mouthed and lacking common sense, Berenger has the occasional moment of clarity. Very occasional. He
currently does gay-for-pay porn and lives in L.A. as T-Bob’s roommate.
First Appearance: “He’s That Kid”,
Jun. 2, 2006. |
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Dr. Cab Ledbetter
Cab was a doctor most his life, busting his ass long
hours and saving every dime he could so he’d realize his dream: owning a bar. When he finally did, it flopped until PeeJee
stepped in and helped him out. After a severe falling out, PeeJee left and the bar faltered. Cab’s since moved operations
to a swankier part of Boston and the old bar is just a memory.
First Appearance: “A Second Funeral”
pt 1, Jun. 24, 2002. |
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Dahlia MacIntire
Dahlia is Davan’s older sister. She was left physically
disabled by a car wreck. A little less snide than the rest of her family, Dahlia helped out Fred in the time immediately
after Faye’s death. Now she’s enjoying a life of independence.
First Appearance: “Texas State
Fair” pt 2, Sep. 30, 2002. |
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Monette MacIntire (formerly Donnelly)
Monette was a friend of the group in Boston who never
quite got anything right – especially her supposed lesbianism. Eventually she found herself in Texas, living with the
MacIntire family. Occasionally bright, Monette now stars in a sitcom for a third rate network and lives with Lisa in
California.
First Appearance: “The Reluctant
Lesbian” pt 1, Dec 31, 2001. |
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Branwen Maher
Branwen was “the good one,” or maybe “the one that
got away.” She and Davan dated for over a year and were pretty happy (despite her blood relation to Mike). In the end,
she left Boston for a job offer. She and Davan have stayed friends.
First Appearance: “Before We
Part Ways” pt 5, Dec. 12, 2002. |
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Jhim Midgett
Jhim was often the straight man for the rest of the group’s
ideas (yes, a gay straight man). Probably one of the most dependable in the group, Jhim generally went along quietly with
the plans. He was also the subject of a longtime crush of PeeJee’s, although she seems to have recovered from that and has
him now designated as merely an object of unrequited lust.
First Appearance: “Jhim’s Kitty”
pt 1, Jan. 14, 2002. |
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Anna Morgan
When the cast first met her, Anna was an overachieving
fifteen year old whom Jason quickly thrust into the role of baby sister who must be protected at all costs. But now
she’s a twenty-something who must be protected at all costs – and worse yet, marrying. For the most part she seems to
have outgrown the old group.
First Appearance: “Enter Anna”
pt 1, Sep. 4, 2002. |
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Eva Olsen
For a brief moment in 2002, Davan was very happy.
That moment centered around Eva. Whenever anyone asks why Davan expects the worst, he can generally point to Eva and
what resulted. Still, the two managed to make amends. They aren’t friends, but they’ve both moved on and Eva’s
finally trying to live a life that’s emotionally healthy for herself.
First Appearance: “Trim Trek 2002”
pt 3, May 14, 2002. |
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Celie O’Maras
Between Branwen and Celie, one might think Davan’s had
a thing for Irish women. Celie was Davan’s first girlfriend when he moved to Boston. She broke his heart. She also
left him with Monette to deal with. Eventually he forgave her both of these things. Celie is one of the few people Davan
has unresolved issues with.
First Appearance: “Old Faces,
Uneasy Places” pt 1, Sept. 22, 2002. |
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Tamara Patel
Tamara is the child of two academics. Like them, she
went into the field of higher learning. Unlike them she opted not to marry just over a childbirth. She and Mike dated
for many years before, tired of Mike’s childishness, she left him. They started dating again in 2004 and for the most part
they’re very happy. Tamara’s the only person Mike’s met who’ll meet his geekiness head-on and bring a little of her own.
First Appearance: “Old Familiar
Faces III” pt 5, Dec. 24, 2004. |
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Ollie Pompey
Ollie is the nephew of infamous director Avagadro
Pompey. He’s attempting to follow in his uncle’s footsteps and become quite the director himself. He’s known for
irritating optimism, an inability to place the blame correctly, and being quite the victim. It was, needless to say,
surprising to learn Ollie’s not as stupid as everyone assumed.
First Appearance: “The Audition
Process” pt 3, Jul. 31, 2004. |
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Redneck Trees
Redneck trees are the stuff nightmares are made of,
especially if you’re Mike Dowden. An occasional antagonist of his in various roleplaying games, redneck trees aren’t
even real within the confines of S*P. Nonetheless they are responsible for 99% of Mike’s rectal puckering.
First Appearance: “PeeJee &
Dragons” pt 4, May 1, 2002. |
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Lawrence Sanderson
Sanderson is not-quite-new money. His life is
dedicated to theatre and he’s usually got his money, and hands, in several shows at once. He first met Davan during an
ill-fated show that Sanderson made Davan director of. Almost two years later, Sanderson found Davan and gave him a
job. The two have been trading barbs since.
First Appearance: “Useful Rage”
pt 3, Aug. 14, 2004. |
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Donna Sawyer
Donna was a childhood classmate to Scotty, Davan, and
Rose. She was also Scotty’s longest lasting crush, and the one girl he could never get. When Scotty killed himself, many
blamed Donna – except Davan, who overlooked years of dislike to comfort her. That comfort later led to a paternity test.
First Appearance: “Scotty’s Last
Crush” pt 2, Mar. 19, 2003. |
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Rory Sawyer
Rory is as hyperactive as any other five year old
and smart when he wants to be. He’s not Davan’s son but Davan tries to act like a father and help Donna out with him.
He’s a bit cowardly and selfish – even by the standards of small children.
First Appearance: “Christmas
is for Children”, Dec. 19, 2006. |
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Claire Shenstead
Claire was an actress friend of Jason’s who spent most
of her time as either the focus of pranks, stalking, or unbridled lechery. But she was a respected actress who worked
hard and eventually learned not to bring her boyfriends around to meet the others. She’s since moved a safe distance
from everyone else.
First Appearance: “Snow White,
Blood Red” pt 2, Jan. 22, 2002. |
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Silas
Silas was a weird guy who lived in Davan’s
neighborhood and narrated things. No one knows why. Then a car plowed him down and he ended up narrating in hell. He’s
since been reincarnated and is now a little child. He’s the only person to make if off the dead cast members page and will
remain so – proving that the only way to get a second lease on life in S*P is to be completely useless.
First Appearance: “Free-Range
Midget” pt 4, Nov. 20, 2002. |
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T-Bob
T-Bob spent his first years in the comic as the
go-to actor for tiny messiahs, modeling panties, and chloroforming. Later he worked with Cab and PeeJee at the bar,
usually trying to keep them from killing each other. He’s since moved to L.A. – and the real T-Bob is ten times
more amazing than the comic version could dream of being.
First Appearance: “Nailed
Auditions” pt 2, Mar. 5, 2002. |
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Kharisma Valetti (stage surname
O’Neill)
Kharisma has yet to live up to her own hype. An
actress (so she says), she grew up in the lap of luxury. Currently she’s in the lap of the penal system for the
murder of her fiance’s uncle whom she also slept with. It’s one of the more respectable things on her resume.
First Appearance: “Valencrime’s
Day” pt 1, Feb. 11, 2002. |
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